The Bike Chronicles, Part 2

Yesterday, I went on what was sadly a completely delightful and event-free bike ride. Disappointing, I know. Don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled that I didn't fall over or run into anything, but it doesn't give me much to work with here. So today, I'm going to tell you about things that could  have happened on the ride, but happily, didn't.

1. I didn't slide and crash on the gobs of geese poop that covered certain parts of the trail. (Yes, I realize I talk about poop a lot in these posts. I would apologize, but it is just the time of life we're in here at the Smith house, so I hope I don't offend your delicate sensibilities.)

2. I could have gotten high from all the marijuana smoke in the air in Fremont. Seriously, what is it with that town? Good thing marijuana is legal in WA now, or I would have been really worried.

3. I could have been mugged in Ballard, but happily wasn't.

4. I could have run over a shockingly slow pedestrian in the U District. (I realize statements like this make me a bike snob. And to be honest, if I had been strolling through the U District on my lunch break when a bike came zooming up behind me, I probably would have slowed down, too, just to make a point.)

5. I could have been trampled to death by a roving herd of ravenous pygmy elephants. Ok, maybe it's not plausible, but it could have happened, and happily didn't.

All told, it was a dream of a bike ride.

The real challenge came after the bike ride. After taking off all my warm cycling gear and throwing my bike in the back of the car, I had to hurry to pick up the kids from school. But I had just finished a 58-mile bike ride. I'm not particularly pretty under the best of circumstances, and throw some sweat, grease, and road debris all over me, and I'm a walking disaster. So, the dilemma: do I leave my helmet on to pick up the kids, or take it off and scare everyone with my matted, sweaty clump of hair? I realize walking around with a helmet on carries certain connotations, but let's be honest. I'm sure half the parents I interact wouldn't be surprised if I suddenly started sporting one. On the other hand, how early do I need to start the shame and embarrassment responsibilities that all parents have for their kids? I didn't think I could do that to them while they are still so young and vulnerable. So, helmet off, and glasses on my head to cover the worst of the matting, bird's-nest chaos that was on my head. Did I make the right choice? I'm not sure there was a right choice in this scenario. And if you are one of the unfortunate souls who saw me, let us never speak of this again.